My GRANDMUM is WICKED

That sound kinda harsh but let me expalin myself.

She went on her journey,when I had just started to get to know her.Funny thing is that before this said "knowing",when I thought of her it was usually in relation to her cooking.

I'm being kinda vague,so I'll go ahead to explain me bit by bit:

"My grandma is the best cook in the world

She would concoct stews made from fresh freshly-ground tomatoes and not too much artificial ish; Tinned tomatoes,spices.A bit of salt,pepper and she got an excellent aroma emitting from whatever pot.And did I mention that She was a culinary genius? well she was.

I had to work a little bit with an uncle who she lives with,and so she was cooking my meals and became my supermum.supermum =grandma+part-time mum
She would scream at me when I came home to get my ish in order.She was like:

"Go to the bathroom and wash your ass,I won't have you messing up my crib with your yeye body wey you don use pack all the whole dust for you uncle shop"

The weekends and environmental sanitation days were the worst,she had me moving like a robot*robots hardly rest right?* I was either cleaning this or washing that or dusting those or buying them or ..... Y'all get the idea

Normally at the end of all these activities I would get my reward a bowl of steaming heaven-inviting food yeah heaven-inviting,those were the kinda meals that you ate and you wouldn't mind if that was your last souvenir before you died.

Did I mention that she's the cleanest individual I know? well this woman knows how to scrub ish till they were shining like bling bling.I never got to know the secret but she would wash white clothes with her hands and the became so brilliant.Bowls,buckets,clothes,pots,spoons .... anything that was hers had to be spotless. she used them kerosine stoves but you'd hardly ever see her pot get blackened.She would reduce the stove temp until you only saw blue flame and then she would leave it for a while before she used the stove.

She was never in a hurry to cook,she said "Na so the food go take sweet well well".y'all know she was the best cook right?.

She thought me the couple of words I know in her language "merikumeni kete" I don't know if that's how it's written but hey.It means "I will eat a lot today".With a super chef in the house,who wouldn't?

She was so devoted to God and stuff;going to night vigils evn when her health was not all cha cha,fasting and paying her tithes and ish.I really would love to imitate her devotion.

I'm quite sure that's she's with Jesus right now in that heaven that she travelled to and they're skating or doing something like skydiving from a space-craft.You guys didn't know how it gets over there?

I say my grandma left me,YES she abandonned me while I left her and went to school for less than three months.She didn't look sick to me,No not really.FINE she was kinda old but not as old as methuselah I don't think she was more than 60.They said she was sick and then ish.

But I know better,I know she abandonned me to go and enjoy herself in heaven,if that's not the case,why didn't she wait for me to come back from school?
She had to leave when I wasn't there so I wouldn't be able to persuade her to stay.

The wicked woman,YES My grandma is wicked! but I love her more that ever now.

May her soul bougie and do crazy stunts in heaven.I know she didn't have like the most "beyoncé" voice but I'm sure she's keeping it real Kanye-Tpain style for Jesus

"Dedicated to my grandma Comfort who passed away december 2008.GOD bless You
I'm sorry if I put the food and cleanliness before the fact that she was a Child of GOD but it's gfunc now and again she always knew about everything and I mean everything even if she wasn't quite sure wat it was and she mixed up things that she didn't really understand because her english was not so Queen of englandish,but she would tell you thing that made you open you mouth and not be able to close it.