I'M GETTING MARRIED

Growing up,I used to watch tv programmes like cartoons in the day time from 4pm cos that was the time those stupid NTAs began broadcast and talking bout NTA,any Lagos pips remember NTA channel 7?

Let's say cartoons were on the different station till 6:30 sometimes 7pm but after that we never really knew cos it was then time for news and ish and God bless our yanshes if we didn't have the station changed to NTA 10,they had basically the same news with NTA 5 but 10 had a clearer reception.

I know y'all is getting a bit confused for some pips who didn't have the priviledge of growing up in lagos around the same era I did.They were five Tv stations when I was younger like OGTV-which was being broadcasted from ogun state,there were the NTAs 5,7 and 10 and then there was the Lagos TV(LTV).

I would have to endure watching the news sometime so that I wouldn't miss the begining of the soap opera that would follow.The glory days of "the rich also cry", "Maria Los angeles" "wild rose" "secrets of the sands"-my fav and all the others.before these soaps would begin there would be an assault of commercials the guiness' adverts,Coca cola's and the point of this post the CIGARETTE adverts.

I adored those adverts they were always so futuristically neat and gave you the impression of a successful man of class.The houses ,the cribs and the way they placed the cigarettes on the tables or took a wiff of the smoke.It all made me feel so giddy and I began to dream.Till this day my dream model of a house came from one of the adverts in a magazine,I think it was Malboro or was it rothman's....I forget.

It had this magnificently white crib with a whitish marble table that had some kinda patterns,cool patters on it.And the dude placed his pack of cigarettes on the table togathet with his keys tto a BIG BMW which was parked outside.He was dressed so nicely and he was walking into the arms of his wife*now that I know better girlfriend or maybe even uncommited "friend"* who was equally*more than actually* divinely dressed.

There was a Piano in the background and the house had a view of nature like crazily pretty nature not the kind of nature you see in farms or ish the kind you get from moutains and unadulterated landscapes.

At about the same time,I discovered THE LADY.

I would come home every sunday to meet some stupid TV programme on NTA 5 where there played "stupid" love songs that would make me feel sick.I so hated loving and mushiness when I was little.It's a surprise that today......I digresss.

Anyways,one day I came home and there she was on the TV screen,the woman I had every intention to marry,the woman I would live with in my all white crib and drive my car with her by my side *that was the general idea in my little days I naturally felt it was the responsibility of a man to drive and the woman by his side holding his hand and ish but today,I know women who drive like "witches"*And we were going to live happily in the house just holding hands every night.She was beautiful,had a nice face and she sang and to me that was all that mattered.I didn't go round obsessing about women with extra large this or that.

She had on a wedding gown and she was singing some ish that I didn't quite understand but she didn't look happy and my 7 year old self or was I six? well I just wanted to comfort her,hold her in my arms and make her pain go away.I wanted to promise her that I was never going to cheat on her or leave her side and ish.I wanted to e the best man ever for her,reall,all 7 year old of me.

The next time I saw her,she didn't have on the wedding gown but this time I understood what she was saying "How could an angel break my heart?" I felt guilty immediatel cos there had been this pretty girl in school who sat two seats away from me whose hand I so wanted to hold.I cried when I heard her sing,it was like she was talking to me and she was crying because of me.


From Toni with love
I thought to my self "what have I done? exactly what I promised I wouldn't do"

All the while I never noticed the guys in the videos and how much she would kiss them and be engaged in a funny kinda embrace clothless.I asked my mum why she had no clothes on,she said that it was all "film trick" that reassured me especially when she offered to show me how a kiss was done in "film trick" I rudely declined "No don't worry" I think were my exact words but in a tone that had mixed emotions or surprise,disgust and fear.

Once again I was in love with Toni,more with her voice that didn't sound like all the girly girls I knew.she seemed to me like a woman I would play football with and stuff,despite the promiscuously short clothing she wore in her vids.I didn't mind,I didn't mind anything when it came to Toni,I was in love.

Until one day I saw her with a man in the video "How many ways",ever since I had known her,she sang of heartbreak and I was there to comfort her and now she was leaving me to sing for some disgustingly *now I think awesomely* muscled dude with "fried" hair.I felt so annoyed and betrayed.she never sang that kind of song to me or bothered to come look for me to hold me and kiss me on my lips like she did to the dude.



I broke up with toni that day and only forgave her some 8 years afterwards when she did this crazily nice video of "he wasn't man enough for me" I guess she had left the "fried" haired "kpako" dude.

I don't know how to end this but I know I was a maga*like scribbles says*

That's all folks.It's your boy gfunc