Words that free themselves

- Can I have a tart,.... no make that two tarts and two cups of yoghurt
- Could I have some cherry jam to go with that ?
- A piece of a month-old chocolate cake as well and two bananas.
- Yes that will be all, thank you.

Lunch couldn't be any more grand, I was floating on air until the aches started, I had assumed that they were cramps as I never stopped believing I was pregnant and that in due time, I would bring forth...

As I walked down the street, I looked at the glass door of the cyber-café and I saw a reflection, the funny thing was that the image looked just like Carvil !!! Oh my ! You know what they say about you becoming like the people you hang out with... so true.

As I took the turn just after the fruit seller's place, I noticed something else... no not a girl! I noticed how people moved... fast-paced like they were in a race or something. Not stopping to breath in the air of the okoko market place... now that I think of it, neither will I. Not stopping to feel the rush of the late afternoon breeze in their hair and on their faces. Not...

The rush, it seems like they know that we have little time and they have to make up for that. I wonder what to make of all this.

My belly still hurts but I move on, I have to keep on going, how else was I going to get home ?

I've gotten home now, my stomach doesn't hurt anymore. I quickly take off these " carvil-kinda clothing ", and then I place myself before the computer and try to write this out... this has been playing in my head all day long: how the post would begin and how it would end, but now that I put pen to paper, I can't even remember where to start from.

Why isn't the computer charging anymore ? I wonder... but that's a problem that I don't have time for right now.

I get up and go to the parlor to stay with the kids, they're making too much noise so I head to the kitchen and there Aunty is quite eager to let me make the eba while warming the soup and blending boiled carrots for the babies meal. I look at her and I smile, a genuine smile not like I had smiled at Lilian earlier on.

I wanted to tell her something like God bless you or thank you but I knew she would ask question, she wouldn't JUST understand and probably smile back or something, she would rather ask questions. I don't blame her, that's the way she is. Time was when I didn't understand her and I would interpret her actions falsely but now... now I still don't understand her and I don't even try to. I just adapt.

So for dinner it will be Eba, okro soup, bananas, and like before yoghurt but this time with strawberry jam.

Dinner is over, I'm lying down on my bed sleeping and it's 2:07 and I feel like bringing forth the pains again. I wonder when, I'll be due I ask myself... then I hear:

It won't be long now

ENTANGLED

The roll of metallic spiral was all tangled up and normally I would have gotten annoyed about it and just thrown the whole thing into the thrash or even if I didn't throw everything away, I would just cut out the parts that weren't too entangled and I would throw away the rest, so that if I had a length of 5 metres of spiral then I would probably be left with only 2 metres by the time I was through.

But this time, I decided that I wasn't going to loose all that length of spiral and I was determined to get most of it if not everything back so I started shaking the whole thing and little by little it loosened up. I eventually had to cut out a bit but it was negligible compared to what I wasted at other times.

This got me thinking about our relationships with one another, where people choose to seperate rather than try to work things out because it's so much easier, but what they don't realise is that a little effort could go a long way to repairing things and then with the help of God that effort gets magnified and then we can be at peace with one another.

Psalms 133:1:

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity

This is just a little something that got me thinking ...

God bless you !

IMPORTANT

Mistakes that change the course of your life. There are certain things you do that changes the course your life's takes. You really need to be careful with what you do because the consequences might be a price too big for you to pay.

Weigh your actions ! A temporary gift/pleasure might cause a permanent harm. You loose much more than you gain

Know God and do not sin against him .

RANDOM Please .... Please

I've kept away from here for a while now, not intentionally though. I even wrote up a post one time but was unable to complete it because the story that seemed so cool in my head didn't come out exactly as I wanted. I think random is the way to go, like off the top. That way if it doesn't come out right it doesn't mean much.

I wrote on facebook " somethings I do for free, somethings I do for money " this is a sentence I had seen on Waffarian's blog. I really don't know why I did but I just found it kinda cool. That's not the only thing I think is cool about her blog, I'm a fan and I've been hooked since last week and I'm on my way to reading all her posts. I've read through 2008 and a huge part of 2009. I have up till 2011. And I need to mention that she has a lot of posts. Some interesting and the others ... less.

I've been trying to figure out exactly what makes her tick cos even though she writes a lot, sometimes not exactly directly but then she also leaves out certain details as well. * that's just me thinking out loud *

There was this post where she talked about pacesetter books. And I recalled childhood memories. Times when I would climb on the mango tree in our compound and just read novels and eat mangoes all day. The pleasure that was !


It reminded me of life before when my greatest problems were makings As in every subject ... other than yoruba language * no miracle was going to make that happen * I would escape to another world through books. I can remember reading "Evbu my love", "Love on the rocks", "The cyclist", and a couple of others I can't remember. I learnt a lot of lessons from those books and they kinda helped buld my character today.

So now as I sit in this room with about 5 people here, I feel so alone and I recall a facebook status *what is it with me and facebook statuses ? this is not good* of one of my "friends" . It's really sick how nowadays I feel so alone in a room full of people and when there's no one there.


I feel a need to release ... all this stuck up "pressure" inside of me, something like a prick of a needle to a over-blown balloon and all the air come out.

I come to this place everyday and I look at these people and wonder if they notice the change that has come over me, but apparently they do not, because they really don't really care even though they smile at me and ask me " How are you doing ? " but it's all part of a formality that humans engage in. they don't ask because they care.

In all I want to thank God for life ! ( That he helps me make it through this )

WHY MEMORISE WHEN I CAN SAVE EVERYTHING TO MY BLACKBERRY SMARTPHONE ....

... Well, If I had one . I would not bother to cram all the elements on the periodic table because with blackberry phones just like the iphone, there is an application for everything. I wouldn't need to be as smart hardworking as I am now. Whole nights of cramming stuff up...Running all the way to the lecture theatre just to tell Bimbo that I was in room 209 and not room 989 like she thought.

I would walk differently because having a blackberry phone changes your genes and entire being so that you all of a sudden become a member of a higher class of humans " the BBeings " as opposed to just being a regular human.

I would have been able to keep in touch with the white lady that came over to our vilage with Chike the son of Nwafor. She stayed with us for 4 nkwo market days, during that time I had gotten to know her and discovered that not only does she pick her nose but that she doesn't go to the toilet only to powder her nose.

Chike was the first to leave our village. After primary school, his teacher has said the he was a promising lad and that He would take him over to Lagos where he would attend secondary school. All in exchange for little service such as cleaning the house everyday, learning to make world-class meals, making those meals three times or more a day, doing the dishes afterwards, taking care of two toddlers and one adolescent, doing the laundry of the whole family,and some other "little" miscellaneous tasks. Chike was still expected to go to school and have time to take care of his business - appear at school looking smart everyday while he only had one uniform pair, take care of assignments, study for tests, ...

Back in the village, the general idea was that Cike was living the life. No more farm runs for him, it was all enjoyment now. He was in Lagos... But was that really what it was ?

Now how did Chike get to meet the white lady ? And why am I talking about Chike's life right now when I had initially started this write-up talking about my self and certain things that I do not possess ?

Keyboard happy

Nowadays, I look at these young ones knowingly when they talk about all these social networks. In my days, when you heard the word "network", you thought about electricity, but today it's about computer networks and social metworks. How times have changed...

In those days, my only means of communicating with people, other than actually going to see them, was by letters and telegrams. Most people don't even know what telegrams are these days. Back in my days if you sent someone a telegram, you would go around feeling like you was the s*** (yes granny knows your lingo)

I used to be the girl whose yansh, all those boys would stare at and fall into gutters. Yes I was the .... Back then I made sense *winks* . I once had a white man stop his car to talk to me while I was on my way to the stream.

It was a day like every other day, I had noticed a car drive past on my way to the stream and on my way back, the car was parked by the side of the road next to Ima's father's hut. Christopher - He had told me I could call him that, even though I insisted with Sir - was seated on the hood of his ride smoking a cigarette.

I can remember thinking to myself that he wasn't like the reverend father who my naive self had begun to believe was some form of divine being and I never seemed to be able to read into his eyes. But with Christopher it was different, first of all, it was obvious that he was human because he coughed twice while exhaling smoke like when water was used to quench the flames of the wood in the fireplace. And then when I looked in his eyes I knew exactly what was on his mind. It was the same look that Obinna had in his eyes when he talked to me on the ufo market day.

As Christopher tred to make talk with me I quicly told him that I needed to go home as I was expected to return with the water and I couldn't be seen talking to just any man. I hurried away from him so as to make sure no one saw us together. Even though I knew that eyes had seen and mouths would talk while ear would hear evn if they weren't listening that I Osa, daughter of Ovie, had been admired by a white man.

From then on, the suitors didn't stop coming to Ovie - my father's house. The village head all of a sudden decided that Ovie should be decorated as a chief. My mother's shop was packed with customers even after she had sold all her wares. One customer had offered to buy her slippers at a ridiculously expensive price, she had almost slapped him.

All these things other favours were shown to my family members just because of the 67.87 seconds that I had spent it Christopher. *Dont ask how I calculated the time because everyone know that Nokia phones come with the stopwatch feature ... Duh ! *



SO nowadays when I look at these young men that come to see my grand-daughters and be telling me about school and how they want to study with girls that live at 150 naira okada away from where their own houses are, I want to slap the taste out of their mouth. What do they think, that because my breasts are sagging, tha means my brain is too ???

SMH at these youngings, Don't be stoopid Aww !!! :D

UNCERTAIN

I woke up with a desire to write up a post...

Yesterday one of these good ideas for a blog post crossed my mind. It was supposed to be something cool. It was supposed to be a short post but it was to be a nice one.

Yesterday I had it all planned out, today ... * well you get the message *

I saw all the comments I was going to get, I saw Ibhade, I saw Myne, I even saw that new girl blogger that had before now never commented or read my blog. I saw her face light up when she read this post and I heard her ask herself " How did he know ? ". I smelt her make-up ... or what was left of it. She had hurriedly put it on just before she left school - them no dey tell person where im go meet im future husband :D ...

You would ask how I know, it's a girl ??... well I just know. I know a lot of things like how water turns to vapour when the sun or any other source of heat, heats it up. I also know that alcohol could alter your behaviour.

I know that Papa Chinedu didn't leave Mama Chinedu with his "clear eyes", No, there was that coloration that hadn't been there, in his eyes, the day he brought her home on his motorbike. He had wanted to hire a car for the day, their wedding day, but she had refused, she talked about one naira and one million ....????? * I doubt she had "clear eyes" too * I doubt that she only listened to the praise and worship tapes produced by her church choir. I doubt a lot of things ....

I doubt the sincerity of Goodluck Jonathan and if you like you can sue me but I doubt that Fashola was a model kid growing up. I'm certain he beat other kids at football and laughed when he dribbled them and they fell down. I'm almost certain he stole 25 kobo from that part of his mama's wrapper where she ties money. I don't know what a model kid is but ... * fill the blanks *

About filling the blanks, it's just like this time where I filled in for Chinedu, yes that Chinedu, the one that got sent out of the boarding house and his parents had to relocate so he could make it to school early everday. That Chinedu that didn't realise the sacrifices his parents made for him. The one that talked to his mother in a tone I considered too "oyinbo". If I had ever tried that with mama gfunc, it's certain this blog would never exist.

This blog where I write down my thoughts and thoughts of what I would like to think of...This blog where I don't often put up posts as much as I should. This blog where I've come to write a post and I think to my self

" I woke up with a desire to write a post ... "

THE SMELL OF PERFUME AND CHEAP WINE ...

Do not think that my title has anything to do with what I'm going to speak of in this post cos it doesn't or maybe it does ... well we'll see as the post goes on because right now I have no idea what i'm going to write on ...


I put up a post last friday that was inspired by the housewife *not so much of one now* who tells "nitty-gritty" tales :D * I know that sounds wack but abeg no come put sand for my garri by saying it* and it was kinda cool, and now seeing that I got two comments from my two most regular commenters IBAHDE
and Myne and I guess they want me to blog more often so here goes ...


I guess I'll do this random because the ideas are not coming, so ...


I went to church yesterday ... not like I don't go to church every sunday, but this sentence has to start in some way and not necessarily by "In church yesterday ..." because not everybody know what day yesterday was cos I sure sey for some parts of the world my yesterday was not their yesterday cos mine was sunday and thiers might have been tuesday or wednesday .... I don dey stray from the original aim of this post.

So like I was saying before I interupted myself I was at church yesterday and then the day's message was on faith and stuff and I think it was a kinda cool message talking about how it's impossible to please God without faith... Go check out the book of Hebrews chapter 11 *good stuff I tell you* . Anyways I know a bunch of you guys have heard messages on faith and stuff but in any case what made that special was that I got on facebook that evening and there was some guy also talking about faith , coincidence ???

In other news, I just might be getting married soon and I mean semi-geological kinda soon lol. I read a lot of blog posts about people's relatives asking them when they were going to get married and stuff. but I normally assume that these people are in quite older that me cos I no too dey look my self like old person na abi na because i get bear-bear ?. From yesterday's talk i guess i should start paying closer attention to girls yanshes girls so that I can pick one to be my girlfriend and then we go come marry after "dating" for some time or better still we no go even date sef I go just pray then God will reveal my wife and I go go yarn the babe sey we gats marry na na na or else God go vex * Father forgive me * or even better yet I fit do it Chinua Achebe old school style and just tell my mama to go find girl wey come from a good family and the day wey i go see her first na the day wey we go do engagemant and then that night there will be a test .... *CENSORED*


So I titled this post "the smell of perfume and cheap wine", I guess i'll just have to say something about that . I saw that phrase somewhere and I thought it was reall catchy and kinda cool so i wrote it on facebook and guess what ??? nobody even commented on it . i was like what the ??? Why was I the only one finding that quote beautiful... ok not beautiful but then there was a kind of mystery about it that just made you want to say something, no ?

Oh well so I decided to keep on writing about it everywhere until i got someone to feel the exact way I felt about it and then leaves a really long comment comment that makes me go " Now that's what I was expecting !! "

I know this post has been really just one big rant but i did it for love, but seeing that the result is not so cool I shouldn't have bothered sef

AREA !!! * south-south style * THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG POST THE LOOKS OF THINGS

Does my title even make sense ?

So I logged on jejely on google reader to see who had updated and of course who hadn't and there was a post from IBHADE . You know the apparently Edo woman who gives us the latest gossip in her area, from her diary-kinda, friend-yarning-with-friend-gossip kinda blog ? ... * sounds of crickets creeching* ... hmmm ? Well if you don't, check her out here. :D

So she got talking about how she doesn't give a **** anymore about certain stuff she used to fret about back in the day, and was asking herself if she was normal ... Well if she thinks there something wrong with her attitude towards things then that will mean that I'm probably irredeemable.

Like her I don't care much for designer articles; clothes, accesories, shoes, whatever. I go for quality most times that not. I don't care much for appearances and I more often want to appear at my worst.

You ask why ??? ... me too

Firstly I'll say it's just a way of me wanting people to appreciate me for me
another human like themselves just because. I do not believe in working to gain the love of someone ... I guess.

I want to live in a perfect world where people are not moved by physical things - beauty, money, cars, swagger even. I don't know if I'mmaking any sense but I guess it would be quite complicated to explain what i'm trying to mean because sometimes I don't even understand what I want myself.


I've been in situations where I've let go of certain benefits I could have gained from people just because I was made to feel I HAD to do something for that person in return. I don't do this with everybody, it's usually with people I call friends friends and family or those that I have plans to someday consider as friends and family if you get what i mean ...

I like to give stuff out when I do that is *winks* without expecting anything in return. I mean, if I let you have something, it's gone and forgotten, I don't really expect you to pay me back ... even though it could be nice to have that though. But you'll never hear me make statements like "Shebi after all I've done for him/her/you, he/she/you could/could not ..." *try to understand this sentence*
or "You know you owe me for what I did for you on *insert occasion* " or ... well y'all get it already.


I'm the sort of person that would go weeks not cutting my beard, cutting my hair, or even rubbing mama africa vaseline on my skin just beacause and I'm still the one who goes out of his way to buy some "expensive" soaps, really swing deodorant *I don't joke with that even though I may not look so fried rice but i dislike smelling like beans :D* I'd cut my hair every single friday and trim my beard just perfect. i like to look good to dress up and look presentable but that's definetely not what deifnes me. People ought to try to read between the lines of the sentences that make up the book of the lives of people * I like *

In another rant, I'll talk about entirely different stuff, like how this girl caught me staring at her yansh and went to report me to my mama * I joke, I joke , I kid, I kid * No actually, I want to talk about how I've come to appreciate sun and stuff how I found this blog about a Lagos "celebrity" of some sort who keeps a blog that recounts "his" "fun filled" night life in the city of lagos and other major nigerian cities where e dey happen.

I read and I really don't know what to make of all he says, I kinda admire the way he's chosen to stand for something * smh * and not give a **** . Because there's usually a disclaimer at the start of all his posts warning people of the content that might figure in his write-ups and a bunch of other stuff how many people get the correct web etiquettes to read the disclaimer sef ? but some people just have to play preacher and try to force advice this adult to change from his ways * insert blank look and then picture me laughing in esperantus * . It is cool to advice people and talk to them about God and stuff, but if all you have to say when you come to play is based on what society considers "moral" then you have no idea what moral is.

I've always read this sort of post - which sort of post you say ? well posts like the one i'm writing now - and didn't think i'd one day be writing one like it anytime soon but you never know ...


I'd love to "rant" some more so I'll just start another post after this one so that way y'all don't have one long ass post to deal with so I say;

À tout de suite !!!

P.S : I tried editing but I just tire for the matter jo !