......HERE LIES THE REMAINS

.........We had met on facebook*at least on good thing I can attribute to being on fb*
She had seen one of my videos that I made during one of those extremely boring browsing sessions.Immediately she had added me as a friend * or some day later,I cannot know for sure *

I had opened my mail that evening and found a request * but i'm always on fb ,how come I didn't see the request you ask? well leave matter for matthias,It's my story I can say whatever I want * . The first picture i had seen of her wasn't all that attractive.It was a dark image with a hairstyle that gave her more age.I had accepted the request.

I checked her info and found out we had one friend in common * my one year senior from secondary school * She was in a foreign country and she wasn't an ex-student of my sec school.

I browsed through her photos and found the other to be a bit more prettier but still not enough,then i had stumbled on one;It had her sitting in a kind of a lecture theatre where she had on a hairdo,that I liked for no particular reason and she looked younger and stuff...... I also remarked at the amount of acne on her face it was like that of a friend I know who was schooling abroad.I quickly made a comparison with pimples and living abroad.

That same day I met her online on facebook.We chatted a bit then we added each other to yahoo IM and then chatted for hours.I found myself liking her rapport and the way she simply flattered me was just too good to be true.She said my video was awesome,that she couldn't wait for me to relese an album * hmmm I thught music or stupidity album * .She was actually watching the video as we spoke and had shown it to members of her family *just her sister,but that could qualify as members now*

We got chatting almost everyday for hours on lenghth and i found myself getting fond of this girl and decided to leave facebook for her *afterall i can't be having two loves na,abi how una check am? *

The chats went on until one day when she didn't come on.I was frustrated and at that moment I began to realise how much I really like her.She came on the next day and from time to tim i would give hints of really liking her *though we had flirted a bit with words like "honey","dear",and "love" * She would justy reply passivel or sometimes say somthing else.I knew she wasn't that into me from then on.It was funny how I would like a girl I met on the internet so much that i sometimes defied my uncle and would loose sleep just so I could chat with her.

Time went on and i knew I had to be content with being friends only or I had to let her go because i really don't know how I can be friends with someoone I'd rather be in love with.The day I told her I had to leave her,it wasn't preplanned because I had wanted her so badly that I had been willing to make do with what i could get,but my mouth ran faster that my brain and I told her.it's funny how I can let go of someone I claim to love.

I know I was too fast to say my mind but I just couldn't hold back my feelings I Had to tell her.This is how the conversation went:



oj: hey u there?
gfunc: yeah
oj: o ok
oj: wassup?
gfunc: nada
gfunc: just here
oj: have u been here for long?
gfunc: like 4
oj: my time?
gfunc: 2H30mins
oj: o ok
gfunc: ago
oj: wat have u been doin?
gfunc: nothing really
gfunc: just chilling
oj: kk
oj: kul
gfunc: yeah
gfunc: and you?
oj: o....lemme see....woke up this afternoon..did some work...went to church nd came back
gfunc: k
gfunc: cool
gfunc: you just cming bck?
oj: fews hrs back
gfunc: k
gfunc: cool
oj: yea
gfunc: i guess easter is gonna be big for ya
oj: big ke?
oj: dunno ooo
gfunc: k
oj: yea
gfunc: but y'all wil be cooking up some of em naijja dishes,right?
oj: we always eat naija good so it'll make no difference anyways...
oj: food
gfunc: ah
gfunc: k
oj: yea
gfunc: isn't it kinda expensive
gfunc: ?
oj: yea it is
oj: but they bring from naija for us
gfunc: who?
oj: family back home
gfunc: k
gfunc: do they like send it or someone comes with it?
oj: yea they do
gfunc: aight
oj: yea
gfunc: send me some of whateve you'll be having then
oj: lol...ok
gfunc: like on easter
oj: i hear
gfunc: lol
gfunc: that was not funny
oj: wat?
gfunc: what I said
oj: ok
gfunc: what phone do you use?
oj: samsung
gfunc: k
gfunc: yuck
oj: i kno
oj: changin very soon
gfunc: cool
gfunc: can i suggest a nokia 5800
gfunc: ?
oj: wz gonna get n95
gfunc: hmmm
gfunc: any particular reasons?
oj: gps nd al d other stuff
oj: nd i think e68 also
gfunc: ok
gfunc: super cool
oj: which one?
gfunc: long as it's a nokia all is fine with me
gfunc: A nloody 3310
oj: yup
oj: nokia is da best
gfunc: yeah
gfunc: you can sa y that again
oj: yup
gfunc: you got any special plan sfor today?
oj: nt really...goin to church later in the evenin
gfunc: ok
oj: yea
gfunc: that's like holy saturday or something?
oj: yup
gfunc: ok
gfunc: there's a ..............
gfunc: certain talk I often hear
gfunc: about the catholics being flirtilicious
oj: uh?
oj: wtf?
gfunc: *that might not be a real word*
gfunc: no need for cursing
gfunc: pips say,and I've seen evidences bout how that could be true
oj: u've seen?
oj: where?
gfunc: yeah
gfunc: like almost all catholic churches I've been to
gfunc: the youth are like something else
gfunc: even the ones who occupy key position in the church
oj: i see
gfunc: don't know why I had to bring that up
gfunc: you like M.I?
oj: yea...y?
gfunc: cos he's like the next best thing since coco pops
oj: dunno coco pops but I love M.I
gfunc: coco pops! the cereal?
oj: ok...lol
oj: am an aje kpaco
gfunc: me too
oj: lol
gfunc: but I used to have this cable something and got used to the butty life
gfunc: though I was quite far from living it
gfunc: tv influences lives
oj: yea...it sure does
gfunc: like
gfunc: it ruins them too
oj: yea
gfunc: yeah
gfunc: I'm a living withness of that phenomenom
oj: heheh...I can imagine...how did t.v influence ur life?
gfunc: what can you imagine?
oj: nothin
gfunc: ok
gfunc: my life?
gfunc: well music,dress and talk
oj: daz for eveyone
gfunc: yeah
gfunc: that's my life
gfunc: the interessting ones are those of others
oj: interestin ones?
gfunc: yeah
gfunc: but I don't think you should be hearing them
oj: y?
gfunc: I guess you should be holy on a holy saturday
gfunc: not that I am
gfunc: but I wouldn't cause your heart to sin either
oj: ok...I don't want to sin at all
gfunc: yeah
gfunc: so don't go being curious
gfunc: k
oj: kk
oj: wil not be
gfunc: I hate when we don't meet up simultaneously
oj: i don't meet up how?
gfunc: online
gfunc: I said "we"
oj: how tho?
gfunc: like i come online and have to chill a while before you come
gfunc: or I don't know you r online
gfunc: and then i have to leave
gfunc: and then you have to stay
oj: heheh....yea
gfunc: and the when I come back you r already gone
gfunc: but you don't feel the same way right?
oj: i don't feel the same way how do u mean?
gfunc: how do I mean?
gfunc: hmmmmmmmmmmmm
gfunc: ok
gfunc: like i come online and have to chill a while before you come
gfunc: or I don't know you r online
gfunc: and then i have to leave
gfunc: and then you have to stay
oj: y did u repost
oj: lol
gfunc: to show you "how I mean"
oj: kk
oj: got u
oj: yea...its sad tho...

(at this time I was gone for like ten minutes before.............)

BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
gfunc: Play: (Magic_Eight_Ball)
oj: SweetIM's magic ball says: My sources say no
gfunc: SweetIM's magic ball says: You confuse me with someone who cares!
gfunc: SweetIM's magic ball says: Dont count on it
gfunc: SweetIM's magic ball says: Better not tell you now
gfunc: SweetIM's magic ball says: Outlook not so good
gfunc: SweetIM's magic ball says: My reply is no
oj: na wa oooo
gfunc: wat is wa?
oj: ask me again
gfunc: gfunc: wat is wa?
oj: dunno
gfunc: ok
gfunc: thing is that I'm liking you loads and i don't know why I'm saying it but obviously * or at least I think *
oj: oo u done...i wz waitin for u to complete ur statement
gfunc: you do not,so I will tell you that I've taken a step by starting this writing.which means that in time I'll have to stop chatting with you .you say why? okay ,the reason is that when I end each chat with ya,I leave in a state of * say a crack addict looses his drug* with you I'm lifted high,I have an overwhelming euphoric sensation of joy *happiness whatever* and once I leave ya.I'm dropped even lower than I was beofore hte conversation began* like negative of the high* . I really hope I'm making any sense because I don't think I am but all the same.I just have to telll ya.I really should get in the process of getting over you .It's gonna be hard but It ain't impossible.For lack of words I will end this now and hope that sufficiently with thes few points of mine I have been able to......
........ convince you and not confuse you that women selling rice in Oshodi market in lagos make more money that oil workers .Thank you!
oj: hahahahahahaah
gfunc: but I ain't kidding though
oj: ok...seriously
gfunc: I 'm real serious
oj: u like me that much?
gfunc: yeah,I don't know why
gfunc: some of the things i say I actually mean even thugh they seem like jokes
oj: but....that wz too quick tho
gfunc: yeah
gfunc: stupid ain't it
gfunc: that's why I said I don't know hy
oj: nt really...but wat i have for u is likeness
gfunc: I know
gfunc: that's why I have to quit ya
oj: quit me
gfunc: or I'll end up being real screwed ( hmmm and chopped too)
oj: but can't we be cool friends?
gfunc: I hope
oj: we are cool friends already
gfunc: yeah
oj: exactly
gfunc: I think th ebest thing would be to leave ya entirely though
gfunc: i'M REALLY NOT THAT STRONG
oj: u re nt that strong?
gfunc: to hold a friendship with someone i'd rather thinks of me the way I think of her
gfunc: you see
gfunc: I hope you see
oj: ummm
oj: no i don't se
gfunc: well I really don't know how to make it anyclearer
gfunc: that's always been a problem with me
gfunc: explanation bien comme il faut
gfunc: explaining very well
gfunc: sorry
oj: ok...i understand
oj: do u want a break from me
dauduzone: lol
oj: or u don't wish to talk to me again
gfunc: I do WISH to talk with you
gfunc: more than anything else
gfunc: bbut not just the way I feel
gfunc: now
oj: o ok
gfunc: i have no idea how long It will take before i get over you
gfunc: so I'd best say
gfunc: indefinetely
gfunc: which could be like forever
oj: o wow
gfunc: yeah u can say that again
gfunc: In about 20 mins I stop chatting I gotta do the cleaning
gfunc: I think that will probably end our "relationship"
oj: o ok...no problem
oj: ummmm
oj: don't kno to say to that
oj: wat
gfunc: so at this point i begin to say my goodbyes
gfunc: so as not too prolong
oj: wow....
gfunc: beyond the 2à mins
gfunc: 20
oj: k
gfunc: I'm really a sucker
oj: yea u re
gfunc: funny how I got into this
gfunc: I think it's difficult to have female friends
oj: just thot we could be friends
gfunc: and not have a physical attraction
gfunc: especially when they are as mignon * nice looking* as you
oj: watever
gfunc: yeah
gfunc: I think I'll be going bck to fb afterall but I'll be more of an inactive participant there
oj: u re really an ass
gfunc: you could still check on if you want
oj: seriously
gfunc: yeah
gfunc: I'm an ass
gfunc: I always thought it was too good to be true
gfunc: i'll always dedicate all my future vids to ya
gfunc: unless ofcourse I find some other girl like you
oj: nt necessary
gfunc: who feels the way I feel
gfunc: ok
gfunc: cool
gfunc: lol
gfunc: take care of you
gfunc: my 2weeks and a day old crush
gfunc: do have a wonderful easter and a wonderful life ahead
gfunc: I'll miss you loads
gfunc: God knows I will
oj: wow
oj: thks fr everythin tho
gfunc: thank you
gfunc: I did nothing
gfunc: nothing at all
gfunc: you'll never know how much it mean that you appreciated my videos
gfunc: at least the first ones
gfunc: you will never know ( I began to feel tears forming in my eyes )
gfunc: for that I love you
gfunc:lol
oj: thk u
oj: I appreciate
oj: i really do
gfunc: if I do then why am I letting you go
gfunc: funny me
gfunc: stupid me
gfunc: these are just my last words of signing off
gfunc: my story with the most incredible girl I know
gfunc: I could go on for ever
gfunc: but I have to discipline me
gfunc: or i'll never leave
gfunc: like all rules I do have an exception
gfunc: I've made a rule but there just might be an exceptio
gfunc: bye love
gfunc: bye
oj est en train d'écrire.
oj: bye ( at this point I had to hurry away ,the tears were already dropping)

IT BEGINS..............

. . . . As I looked at the advancing fist,I imediately blanked out and got into a kind of dreamlike world where I heard voices laughing,I think they sounded like donkeys and shouting get up,I had heard stories of people seeing stars or probably taken unscheduled trips to heaven *one way or return flight* but I had never heard about laughing donkeys shouting "get up".As I pondered,I felt a light tap,believing it was all part of unconsciousness I didn't respond,then came the slap.

I immediately open my eyes and jumped up,wondering what had happened.Thing was that I actually hadn't fainted or anything like that but I had just triped frighten by the impact of the anticipated punch.I had been standing close to the fire extinguisher post,the dead-end where Thomas "the pire" Agbaniyaka had me cornered,He was about to kill me for hanging out with his girlfriend and stalking him on facebook posing as a girl leading him on by being very emotional and making the fool relate with a girl who completed him and shared his philosohy of inflicting pain on others and was just perfect for him but somewhere along the line I had written my name on the wall of a mutual friend,telling him I wasn't a gal so he should stop trying to holla at me,but little did I know the APROKONESS of facebook atr the time because I was still accessing via mobile.Thomas had found out and had decided to send me prematurely to heaven,hence the fight.Luckily as I fell to the ground it was already too late to retrieve the punch his fist was badly lacerated as it collided with the outlet part of the cylinder of the extinguisher.Being a tough guy he had tried to bottle up the pain a bit but after a while the reality struck him and he screamed like a frightened monkey

At that everyone began to laugh and that was when I got up,It was so funny that I joined in,Thomas looked at me with eyes full of hatred,as if to say "you're dead meat man" but that didn't stop my laughter,I laughed so hard the poor fool must have thought I had gone crazy.He began making attempts to walk away aided by his two goons,Jide and Segé.All off a sudden he stopped,as if he had been informed that he had to save face a bit,he picked up a log of wood on the floor,I had seen him bend down but I couldn't be bothered by what he was doing I was having the grand time.All of a sudden I caught sight of a UFO and then everything went black.............


I hope this qualifies as my first official story into blogsville,may my road in it be smooth,I really am not cut out for the rough

I hope to also win like 17 awards in the blogsville award,so I hereby make this declaration to y'all blogsvillians or blogvillites whichever you prefer